Family baking together

Recommended Reading: The Danish Way of Parenting


As a Montessori experts dedicated to guiding parents of babies and toddlers, we are always on the lookout for valuable resources that align with the principles of Montessori education. "The Danish Way of Parenting" by Jessica Joelle Alexander and Iben Dissing Sandahl is one such gem that not only resonates with Montessori values but also presents a research-backed approach to raising happy, resilient, and empathetic children. In this blog post, we will explore how this book intersects with Montessori principles, highlighting its emphasis on fostering independence, promoting a respectful environment, and nurturing social skills.

The Danish Way of Parenting
Photo Credit: ​​The Danish Way

Synopsis of The Danish Way of Parenting

"The Danish Way of Parenting" is a captivating and insightful book written by Jessica Joelle Alexander and Iben Dissing Sandahl, which explores the unique parenting style prevalent in Denmark. Drawing upon extensive research, personal experiences, and interviews with Danish parents, the book unveils a refreshing approach to raising happy, confident, and resilient children.

The authors delve into the fundamental principles that underpin Danish parenting, revealing a society that fosters trust, independence, and emotional well-being in children. One of the central themes of Danish parenting is the concept of "hygge" (pronounced hoo-gah), which encompasses a warm and cozy atmosphere where families connect and share quality time together. This nurturing environment encourages open communication, empathy, and a sense of belonging.

Through engaging anecdotes and practical advice, the book introduces four essential pillars of Danish parenting: play, empathy, authenticity, and togetherness. It emphasizes the significance of play in children's development, both for fostering creativity and enhancing problem-solving skills. The Danish approach prioritizes unstructured play, allowing children to explore and develop at their own pace.

Furthermore, the authors highlight the importance of empathy, teaching children to understand and respect the feelings of others. They provide strategies for cultivating empathy in everyday interactions, helping children to develop strong social skills and a compassionate outlook.


Authenticity is another key aspect of Danish parenting, encouraging children to express their true selves without fear of judgment. The book emphasizes the role of parents as role models, displaying authenticity in their own lives and nurturing their children's individuality.

The final pillar, togetherness, emphasizes the value of strong family bonds and supportive communities. Danish parents prioritize creating a harmonious family life, incorporating shared meals, regular family meetings, and a healthy work-life balance. The authors explore the Danish education system and childcare practices, which promote cooperation, inclusivity, and independence.

"The Danish Way of Parenting" presents a compelling alternative to traditional parenting methods, offering valuable insights and practical tools for parents seeking to raise resilient and well-adjusted children. It challenges the prevailing notion that happiness is solely linked to achievement and highlights the importance of fostering a nurturing environment that focuses on emotional well-being and strong interpersonal relationships.

In this book, Alexander and Sandahl offer readers a fascinating glimpse into Danish culture and parenting practices, presenting a compelling case for incorporating elements of the Danish approach into their own parenting journeys. By adopting the Danish way, parents can create a positive and supportive environment that nurtures their children's happiness, confidence, and resilience.


“ If we change the way we see our children, the way they see themselves will change. Always look for the good. Focus on what you can do, not on what you can't.”

Jessica Joelle Alexander and Iben Dissing Sandahl

The Power of Independence

One of the fundamental pillars of Montessori education is the promotion of independence in children. The Danish Way of Parenting echoes this principle by recognizing the significance of allowing children to explore, learn, and make decisions on their own. The book advocates for granting age-appropriate independence, giving children the space to develop their sense of self, and fostering their autonomy. It emphasizes the importance of providing opportunities for free play, self-directed learning, and the development of practical life skills.

In the Montessori approach, children are viewed as active learners who have a natural drive to explore their environment and develop their abilities. "The Danish Way of Parenting" encourages parents to create an environment that supports children's independent exploration, allowing them to discover their interests and develop essential life skills. By incorporating Montessori-inspired principles such as child-sized furniture, accessible materials, and encouraging self-help skills, parents can empower their children to take an active role in their own development.

Respectful Parenting

Respectful and responsive parenting is a cornerstone of Montessori philosophy, and "The Danish Way of Parenting" beautifully encapsulates this principle. The book highlights the importance of treating children as equals, involving them in decision-making processes, and acknowledging their feelings and opinions. It promotes a nurturing and empathetic approach that allows children to develop a strong sense of self-worth and self-esteem.

In Montessori homes and classrooms, teachers model respect and create an environment where children's voices are heard and valued. Similarly, "The Danish Way of Parenting" encourages parents to prioritize open communication, active listening, and mutual respect in their interactions with their children.

The book emphasizes the significance of empathizing with children's emotions, validating their experiences, and offering support and guidance rather than resorting to punitive measures. This aligns with the Montessori belief that discipline should be approached in a respectful and constructive manner, focusing on teaching and guiding rather than punishing. By practicing respectful parenting techniques, parents can establish a foundation of trust, fostering a positive parent-child relationship that encourages children to express themselves freely and develop a sense of responsibility.

“I believe adopting free unstructured play, within an appropriate framework, has rich potential in bringing up happy, well-balanced and resilient children.”

Iben Dissing Sandahl

Dr. Becky
Photo Credit: The Danish Way​​

Building Social Skills

Montessori education places great emphasis on fostering social skills and cultivating a sense of community. Likewise, "The Danish Way of Parenting" recognizes the value of social connections and cooperative learning. The book emphasizes the importance of empathy, kindness, and inclusivity in raising children who are compassionate and socially aware.

Montessori environments are designed to promote collaboration, cooperation, and respect for others. Similarly, "The Danish Way of Parenting" offers practical strategies for nurturing empathy, resolving conflicts, and teaching children the importance of teamwork and collaboration. It encourages parents to create opportunities for their children to engage in social interactions, such as playdates or group activities, where they can learn valuable social skills.

The book also emphasizes the significance of teaching children about cultural diversity and inclusivity, fostering a sense of global citizenship. By exposing children to different cultures, traditions, and perspectives, parents can broaden their children's horizons and instill in them a sense of respect and appreciation for diversity.

Researched Backed Approach

One aspect that sets "The Danish Way of Parenting" apart is its foundation in extensive research. The authors draw from a wealth of studies and scientific evidence to support their recommendations. They provide readers with a deep understanding of the psychological, emotional, and neurological aspects of child development.

The book discusses research on topics such as emotional intelligence, resilience, and the importance of play. It presents evidence-based strategies that have been proven to have a positive impact on children's well-being and growth. By incorporating these strategies into their parenting, parents can feel confident that they are following a research-backed approach.

This research-backed approach aligns seamlessly with the evidence-based practices of Montessori education. Montessori principles are rooted in decades of research and observation by Dr. Maria Montessori and subsequent researchers in the field of child development. By integrating the research-supported strategies from "The Danish Way of Parenting" with the principles of Montessori, parents can create a nurturing and enriching environment that promotes optimal growth and development for their children.

"The Danish Way of Parenting" serves as an excellent companion for parents seeking to embrace a Montessori-inspired approach to raising their children. Its alignment with Montessori values, focus on promoting independence, fostering respect, nurturing social skills, and evidence-based approach make it a valuable resource for parents of babies and toddlers. By incorporating the wisdom and insights from this book into their parenting journey, parents can create an environment that supports their children's holistic development and sets them on a path towards a joyful and fulfilling life.